I need to know what I'd been being and how I want to be better.
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I was easily influenced by the selfish culture in my previous company,
because I have weak principles and character.
I began trying to protect myself from being used or manipulated...
Everyone seems motive-driven and selfishness seems so... normal.
and I don' t trust anyone.
But... it's kinda tiring to always fear being taken advantage of,
and the fact is... I became just like one of them... Selfish and manipulative.
"The world is a reflection of your true self."
One morning... after realizing the fact, and a bit thinking process like this:
I think I prefer to be that kind of person that would make me feel happy.
The satisfaction came from giving, being selfless, being helpful...
that good feeling, is the genuine feeling of being important and needed.
I feel somewhat I am capable.
Just a simple "Thank you" or gratitude looks... feels a lot better than being selfish
Selfishness makes enemies, Selflessness makes friends.
Selfishness brings fear, Selflessness brings satisfaction.
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I always feel lonely.
but if I remain the same person, doing the same thing...
the result will still be the same... Lonely.
It's much easier to go out and make friends than sit down at home waiting for Fate to do its job.
Some might turn out to be good friends, some might be not...
but I might get a good deal at the end of the day anyway...
Some from workplace, some from PG Corner, but mostly from Facebook =P
(That's why I love Facebook)
It's not that hard actually...
Just be genuinely interested, be helpful without expectations, be sincere...
If you need a motive for my actions, I do have one.
I need friends, and I hope I can be a good friend to you as well.
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Lastly...
The most important thing I need to remind myself.
Just be myself. Just be the kind of person I want to be.
Be aware of what I'm doing and showing all the time.
And be responsive rather reactive.
Positive thinking needs effort and time to reason with yourself before you respond.
You can think about the words you use, the outcome, your expression, your image...
Negative thinking needs no effort because it's there all the time.
You react without really thinking.
I let loose and stop controlling my thoughts... and I had miserable time in the past =.=
So, I'd been both type. Trust me.
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Eh. You read till here? Woah~! Thank you leh. Really appreciate it that you read all my rants =D
Thanks for your time and interest to read till here. Ahahahahaha!
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