Down Day

The most important thing in life, is living.
Troubles come, troubles go...
I believe tomorrow will be better day,
and less bad luck for me.

It had been kinda pressuring right now in SCB, because i got no submissions at all. Hmm... Kazee told me that before... It'll be Hell for first three months. Am i devastated? Nah, it's still a small problem for me. Just that, feel a bit down about it?

Clement got a submission, but he told me, "I am sure that submission will be declined. And my first few submissions will be declined as well." The reason behind of this negativity? This is what he called 'calculated risks'. Expect the worst out of the beginning, good outcome will be an extra. "That's the foundation of my confidence," he said.

Looking at him... There's a lot of things which i feel... Just like the once old me. Full of confidence, positive, and the way he handled his relationship... the philosophy that he practiced... Where's mine? Lost in space... Sucked by the black hole i think.

Growing mature? Becoming wiser? Or changing my mind? As i reached 20, a lot seems different... I am more aware that after all, i am not god. And i don't have that kind of strength to be an unreasonable man that i had always want to be. That kind of person to change the world around me.

Last time, i did met some negative passive fellows, telling me... My confidence and my philosophies... will only last for sometime. Just wait until i really feel the reality. I... just told them what Clement had been telling me for sometime... And, i'm that negative passive fellow... So funny isn't it?

Wait... am i feeling self-pity right now? I bet i am... If not, i won't think of things that i am thinking right now, isn't it? What can i happy about now? Bird, when i answer yours... i really answer yours... And i guess i am answering the same answer to myself right now...

I'm happy, because i get to breathe the first air this morning when i woke up... And i am so happy, that i am still alive until now.

I will be happy again tomorrow when i wake up again :)

*Rest in Peace* Uncle Lim Goh Tong...

I was working in office... until i heard from my boss, an unbelievable shocking news and it struck through me... that...


...the founder of Genting Highland, Uncle Lim just passed away on 23rd October 2007 at 11.20am. In Subang Jaya Medical Centre... He was 90 then...

He built Genting Highland with little money, out of the inspiration he got while relaxing in Cameron Highland. Because of his sweats and blood, because of his efforts... We are able to enjoy in a resort known as Genting.

I believe that many Malaysians, young or old, have lots of sweet memories in Genting... Be it romance, success, friendship, family...

I remember... my mum telling me that she never lost in that jackpot machine...
I remember... my brother won big money before (but he returned everything back to Uncle Lim =..=)
I remember... Bird kept telling me here got memories, there got memories o.="

I remember me myself... first time went to Genting when i was only four...


He, Uncle Lim, as the inspiration for us, the young entrepreneurs... Although he no longer here, his spirit will always be felt by us, the young entrepreneurs...

Uncle Lim... Although i only read about you, and heard about you... i don't even get the chance to meet you in person... or see you talk... But the feeling of losing you, is like a feeling of losing a mentor...

Uncle Lim... Thank you for your guidance through your success...

--Rest in Peace--

Bird in the Cage 2nd Part

from Birdielicious.

Birdie:

Genie in the bottle,
Birdie in the cage;
Its wings is getting brittle,
Swallowing by age.

the door might be opened someday,
but doubt if it can make it's way.

Bannie:

Bygone the 21st June,
"Someday" will arrive so soon,
Let go not your hope,
Forget not your past attempted slope.

If it's courage,
that you seek
Then faith is what you really need...

I wish
I will be here to receive you
But i chose
To believe in you

First step is what it takes
Fledge Bird, fledge!
Just with little courage,
And you will be free again from this Cage!

-Bnbd-

Bird in the Cage 1st Part

By AvalonMoon @ Deviantart

Irresistible...
Obsessive...
Who everyone wishes to own...
Who even i wishes to have...
But do this mean you need to be here?

Bird...
Here in the cage,
Locked away,
Keeping the freedom away.
Will there be any more smile
Will there be any more life?
Shown through your shiny eyes?

Bird...
Do you believe in this Fate?
That means you supposed to be locked away?
Do you heed to the lock?

Bird...
Will you believe in your wings,
That's the only hope for you to soar
Just like the other flock.

Bird...
How i wish to have the key to you...
So i can set you free...
But how can i ask you to go?
If you are here to stay?

-Just Simple production-

21st October

21st October...

The day when i attend Old Frees Association Annual Gathering Dinner... (I'm an ex-Xaverian)
The day when our Malaysian astronauts who took Russian space taxi to International Space Station, coming back to Earth.
The last day for Dino to be in Penang, he's going back to KL the next day...

Five years ago at this date back in 2002...

This is the date, when i was first attached, and first time i started to learn how to love...

Hope i can write more about this date... But after all, there no longer holds any meaning to this date.

My Little Night

This is the third week working in Standard Chartered, and i just met my first customer. I do hope that this case can be approved, though i am ready for 'No Cases for First 3 Months' pattern. Come to think of it, after i did some calculation... I'll still be tight though my salary was increased by few hundreds. Anyway, i will some ways to settle my problems. I don't take "No" as an answer.

Dino and friends are going back to KL this coming Sunday. The pro is, i know i will have more extra money in the coming months as, my routine will go back to the same pace again. Work, Online, Sleep... and the con is, what i gonna do when i am in need for a friend for company?

Sitting here at night... i am missing her and wondering when will she be back? Nothing special or romantic here. It's just that... i feel a bit lonely now... I hope she will enjoy her temporary holiday =)

Birdie... you disappeared for some time. Alright, just a few days, and it's good to hear from you again here in the chatbox. But i prefer to hear your voice la :P Irresistible? Bluek!

Kazee... Stop messing with my Lulu =.=* and confuse her.

Need to get some sleep now... Tomorrow will be another great day for work!!! SALES SALES SALES!!!!!!!!!

Scent

DKNY Be Delicious (Apple)... (I'm not trying to promote for DKNY)

I just found this perfume at Jusco, Queensbay Mall after searching for some time. The fruity fresh scent... tells a lot of story behind it.

Our brains can store voices, and images... Our brains can remind us the scent, or the smell... But unlike voices and images which we can play it in our mind just like the television... We can't smell whatever scent we wish as we like. It's limited.

Let me put it in romantic way...

For distant lovers, some they exchange necklace, or photo or whatever things they can find belongs to them... Why not, exchange perfume? The scent must be special and unique. It can be only found from your loved one... That scent will remind you of the person you love... We can hear the voice, we can see the face... just by memory alone... But not scent. Scent from someone special, can only be found from that person alone... The closer you get to her/him... the heavier the scent will be...
Summarizing everything, you will feel her/his existence... when you smell the scent of the perfume.



Talking about scent and perfume, i heard of a story called Perfume. You can check out the storyline in the link i given to you. There are many different point of view towards the storyline... but looking from my point of view, i feel it's quite romantic.

I got a sample of the fruity scent from the promoter in Jusco. To be honest with myself... I do miss this scent ...

A Night in Tao Lounge, Autocity!

*Click on the pic to enlarge to see the wordings :)

Saturday night in Tao lounge, Autocity was really fun! Together we opened a bottle of Martell VSOP. See their face, all looks like drunkards. Muahahahaha! This is also the first time i drove to Autocity. After i crossed the Penang bridge, i took the road to the North, and i was lost in Bukit Mertajam. I also saw the signboard, TO SUNGAI PETANI, which is... so fucked! Autocity is in the south, near Juru. I supposed to follow the signboard, TO IPOH, KUALA LUMPUR,
and so, i drove to the north, made a U-turn and drove back to south. When i reached Autocity, i realized, "What the fuck! So near only from the bridge?" Well, it's like i try to touch my nose from the left side with my right hand above my head.

So, we got there. And basically it's fun!!! And i had hell satisfying taste of Martell before we went home, and stopped at Greenlane McDonald's to had our breakfast at 4am. Before we went home and sleep.

What a nice day~

P.S: So hard to get any more nice photos because we don't really adapt to that culture in taking pictures wherever we go.

A Token of Self-Recognition

Three people feel lost and trapped.

First person, an Artist. He don't mind about how much money he can earn in the future, but when he can be one of the great illustrator in Japan. He don't know, "What's next?" because when we are in school, our next step is to get a job. Now he has a job, so what's next for him?

Second person, a Student. He can't the life of taking money from his parents. He wants to earn money by his own and spent on his own. He is 21 years old right now. Maybe for most people, that's still young. But he feels useless, having to depend on his parents... and also, he don't wish to work. He wants to be rich. So he questioned, "When is that time?"

Third person, a Dreamer. He got a job. Although he don't have much money, but he can still live on his own. He got no worries what will he be in the future because he is so sure that he will be there. He just changed his job, and he knows he's learning and doing what he need to do, to get him there. So, what he's demanding for? He needs a relationship, he needs Love.

*WARNING! Contents contain over-bragging about the blogger and might disgust most readers. If you can't stand the blogger's pride. Don't read*

After years of silly aggressive approaches, years of fruitless actions, years of unnecessary risks, i guess i had let the world beat me down to my knees. My aunty called it 'Wisdom'. I can't agree more. But deep inside me, i also realized that slowly i have become weak caused by my circumstances.

Perhaps, i no longer have that strong drive to change the world like Bill Gates or Mother Theressa like i used to have. All i wished now, is merely, able to live a normal life and never had to work again at young age. I know this is quite hard and seems impossible to most people, but this is the least and my lowest dream right now. Just by being financial free alone, and not able to do anything that can bring better changes to the world... That's already a waste to my life.

Don't mind me. I'm just bragging i guess.

...............

...............

I said, all i want is to live normal. And someone replied me, "You can't be this way. It all started from you. Among everyone that i'd met, you are the only one who always have that hardcore drive to be different. Maybe not all of us, but i started to be this way and think this way... It started from you."

Heh... I am flattered. What i have in mind after that? Blank. Maybe he said that just to cheer me up? But all along, i know i do share all this kind of things with him. And awhile, he just listened and no comments given. Until not long ago, i saw his progress in learning and following my pace in learning all those stuff.

Oh man... I'm so fucked. I started to brag non-stop. Somebody please stop me! =X

Myself

Feeling uneasy and moody caused my uncontrollable actions which happened few days ago, i meditate to get myself peace and free of mind in order to continue the days without frustration and depression.

It's kinda bullshit when you did something yourself, and you felt guilty over it. I don't blame anyone or anything because it's me who chose to take those action. Influence and temptation, i can't seems to fight off this easily for a while and most of the time, in the end, i failed. I tried to quit smoking, quit alcohol, quit caffeine and... but nothing seems working. I became worst and worst.

For each vices that i did, it seems like the gap become wider and wider between us. To make it funny, it's like a Christian asking for forgiveness each time he sinned, but all the time, he did again and again. Those prayers that he made, is best to be thrown into the sea.

I feel like, i want to be reborn again. Slowly, adding thoughts, ideas, philosophies, and values into myself to be a better person that i'd always wanted to be, but failed along the way. Will it be too late for me to rebuild my life again...? To be those pure person, that i believed myself as one until i destroyed that purity myself not long ago? (maybe very long time ago)

Sadly, i found out that i am someone who rather been told what to do, and what not to do, than a person who can stand on my own ground living up my principles. The one and only principle i pride myself in, had long gone... I guess, i am lost right now. Lost to the world which pushes me around.

Meditation is good. At least during that moment i feel peace and thinks nothing. I think nothing about the future, i think nothing about the present, i think nothing about the past, i think nothing about myself nor others.

Set a standard for myself. I still have time (maybe i will die anytime soon) and just by living every single day, being loyal and truthful to myself... can be an achievement...

I haven't updated for sometime (oh crap, i started with this line for dozen times!!!). I had been lazy busy. By right, if to think about it, i update my blog just for one purpose. Guess what? I will not tell you the purpose.

First of all, i wanna thank God that i'm still alive right now. I just changed job, from Public Bank (PB) to Standard Chartered Bank (SCB), from a low-paid clerk to a sales executive with more than 40% salary increment and commission. I'm still new over there and i can't comment much yet... at the moment it's still good... but i will blog about the comparison when i feel like blogging bout it am free =)

My shares, UEM Builder is recovering from the correction. I guess there will be good news for me. I am currently having insufficient funds problem because i paid my debts using most of my salary, bonus and incentive. Good news from SCB~! I will get my salary earlier this month.

I guess, i still love sales because of the mental and physical challenges, and it requires me to plan my activities like those good old days when i'm still in Omegatrend MLM. I just like to hold an organizer while working. Well, i will get a PDA later on.
(I still hate electronics; i prefer handwriting =X)

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By the way, we haven't chatted much for quite some time. She's still busy doing with her workload.

My point of updating, is a way to let someone (or anyone) know how i had been lately. I don't have chance to really talk to them. But at least, when they read my blog... they will know how had i been. Maybe they are not interested to know at all. I can just say whatever i like, and if they want to know, they will know it through here.

Tomorrow is another new working day. Happy working :) for my Goals~