Ugly

Feeling low self esteem and feeling ugly with my face. I think my next thing will be spending fortunes on my face.

I wish you well and wish you good.

Happy birthday.

I'm not interested

I don't think I'll be getting into any relationship soon. I guess changing department and making myself super busy is right. Workaholic again.

Tired of the starting all over process, break up process, look around again. Maybe I'm not ready for the commitment. Or maybe I just haven't found the One yet.

Lonely time~

Home early, no emails, no paperwork, no customer calls, no colleagues, no housemates~

Well, time to have a slow drive~~*

Heartbeat

Heartbeat is what keeps us alive, and what motivates us. Love gives one of the strongest heartbeat.

For these two years,
Nothing has make my heart beating fast.
Not traveling,
Not my job,
Not the bonus,
Not the promotion,
No women able to done that.

I think the key to colour my life again is to find that heart beat.

Cloudy

Today's cloudy. Not just about the MH17. I broke up today and ended a relationship.

I didn't feel the duper sad like in the past when I hugged my pillow and cry. It's just the "Aih... Sad" kind of sad if you know what I mean.

Love and relationship are never the same anymore. I just can't feel it like it used to be.

It seems unimportant for me now. Something is stolen away from me. I think this is the one they,called,Grow Up,

After Few Years...

And I'm still thinking of you...

....

I miss you. Sigh...

Happy Mother's Day

Sine you left, there's a lot of regrets and remorse. I should have done better while you're still around.

Since you left,I felt like I lost my home. There isn't any place which I can go back to.

Since you left,I've been doing well. Because I realized this is how you wanted me to be all along.

Since you left, I will wake up crying whenever I dream of you. Even when I am in somewhere unfamiliar, I'll be back at home in my dream.

Sorry for I had been irresponsible, and keep making trouble.

Someday when we meet again, I want to tell you how much I miss you, that you're the best in the world. Ee, I love you. Happy Mother's Day.

2012 - 2014

I'm feeling great today. I feel like I got back my confidence again. I moved to KL in April 2012 and now it's already April 2014. I'd been here for two years now.

Thinking back about my past. It really began in December 2009 when I got into my greatest and happiest relationship. Things improved, eventually I got into business, feeling successful, with the most beautiful lover. I got arrogant.

July 2011, things started to get real bad. Business going down, had make enemies with my arrogance...

Beginning of 2012, had a really painful break up, officially give up in business, and on April 2012 moved to KL trying to save my relationship but it's already broken beyond repair.

Suffering from insecurity, inferior complex and a broken heart, my early days in this big city wasn't pleasant at all.

After almost a year, March 2013, my closest family member, my nanny passed away while I was away. It really makes me to look at myself in the mirror, and to see how I'd become from bad to worst.

Started focusing on my job. Eventually I found a good girlfriend. Kind, innocent, naive, really like a diamond found on a beach. (She's kinda silly sometime and makes me mad at times)

Worked out on my self-control, responsibilities... After collecting small little victories each day, got people complimenting my capabilities, my mentality...

April 2014. Here I am. Getting on my two feet again. I wasn't any richer, though there's improvement way better than before. My confident is back again. This time, confident with better judgement, knows the meaning of humble, knows real friends, treasure those around me.

You see... everything happens for a reason. It was all, an Odyssey, a great journey. Thank you, to those who made me today.

Good night.

Melancholy

Feeling melancholic and listening to Skyscraper and Unconditionally.
Thinking of her again.
I got a feeling that this scar will never heal even with time...
I guess it's part of the process.
Bittersweet taste like First Love. Maybe she is, with the things we'd been through together.

I learned a wise lesson from Keanu Reeves on how he goes on despite his miserable and depressing life.

"I don't have to be happy to stay alive"

Part of growing up is not how to talk myself out from my misery, but learning to live with it.

I'm sad and broken, but I will go on...

P.S. I love you...

The title of the book that I'm reading.

Lol, I suddenly remember this.

A Piece of My Heart

Remembering a time when you told me, "I'm keeping your heart safe and sound with me."
You didn't return me my heart. It's still with you. You left with it.

They said time will eventually time will heal.
But how long was it since the last time I really laughed my heart out?
And really feeling happy and joy?
The ghost of you still lingers around.

Last month I attended an old friend's wedding.
I was really excited and happy for her.
The wedding was really great.
The music, the video...
But somehow, deep inside me...
I feel envy. It's like, I would never be able to feel such happiness in my life anymore.
Just like, it's the end for me.

My girlfriend asked me, why am I closing myself from her? Why am I being so selfish?
I wanted to answer her but I didn't.

I'm just sorry...
Because there's already a void where my heart belongs...

She took my heart away...

Decide Your Camp

Being neutral and not being a part of any camp are not trying to stay away from politics.

This is plain indecisive.

Decide, choose a camp, and follow what your camp believes in...