Wednesday, December 31, 2008

First Two Pieces After Six Years

My first two art pieces since form 4... that is 16 years old.


My first piece... Manga style.


Well, I tried to sketch back. This is my usual style of drawing brought from last time... I think this is my usual standard. No improvement since then coz I stopped drawing for quite some time now.

The eyes senget. All because I draw the line for the eye placing senget.

Senget line + Eye = Senget Eye.

I didn't draw any proportion for the body, therefore... no boobs for you to see. After I draw the details on the face... I don't have that skill enough to draw the breast proportion without ruining the details on the face. If I'm not wrong, it needs triangle line from the head. To make up the nipple point. (Taken from nude sketching last time.)




My second piece... Trying-to-be-realistic style.

I like this one... I think I will continue using this style of drawing in future... IF... I continue to draw.

Hehehe... Something new on my blog huh?

Monday, December 29, 2008

Kinda Old Song... Angels by Robbie Williams




Hmm... Years after stop heng-ing this songs,
I finally understand the lyrics.
Well, was too green during the days when I first listened to this song.
Actually the lyrics... Quite meaningful.


I sit and wait
Does an angel
contemplate my fate
And do they know
the places where we go
when we're grey and old

Cuz I have been told
that salvation
lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
thoughts running through my head
and I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

And through it all
she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

When I'm feeling weak
and my pain walks down
a one way street
I look above
and I know I'll always be blessed
with love

Cuz I have been told
that salvation
lets their wings unfold
And as the feeling grows
she breathes flesh to my bones
and when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

And through it all
she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall wherever it
may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

And through it all she offers
me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall wherever it
may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call
she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Childhood Friends Reconnect

Today is quite happy.

I got a sms from a number out from my phonebook saying,

"Hi, know who am I? I'm your childhood friend, C."

I think back... childhood friend C...
My dumb god sis got the same name, but of course it's not her...

So I called back to find out...

She speaks Cantonese with me.

AHA~! Now I remember... My childhood friend from Ipoh,
during those days when I used to be sent to my grandpa's house during school holiday.
Ipoh was a damn fucking boring place at that time.
First of all, shopping complexes are far away from the place we stayed.
Second, at that kind of age... Cybercafes just got popular in Penang, let's not talk about one in Ipoh.
So the only part I can remember well is going to her babysitter's place,
Where we will play a lot of games together.

Happy loh...

I remember a few... draw chalks on the floor... don't know play what games d... Jump jump jump...
Got "Stick King" also... pick up sticks without moving the others stack randomly...
My favourite also got, Millionaire, the pirated version of Monopoly...

How she found my phone number? She bumped into my grandpa and he gave her ^^

I look forward going back Ipoh now =)

Got so many things to talk about.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas for Just In Case I Forgot Or Died




MERRY
CHRISTMAS.




Nop, no plan.
Not going out.
Will stay at home online... First time in my life after graduating from high school.

Due to change of plan.
From BBQ to expensive dinner at a restaurant, then to Upper Penang Road (expensive place in Penang)
My wallet is in ICU, having critical moment between life and death.
Even if I have money, I think I will spend it on New Year Eve than Christmas Eve.
Even if I have money, I think I will buy that awesome black shirt from FCUK.


Well, I won't ask for money... So, just stay at home eat Maggi Mee and watch South Park will be good enough.



BUT HEY!
There are other people who needed our help greatly.
I just came to know about a fund that will make a good use of donations.

Please Please Please... Help this poor little girl.
Bless all of you who helped,
And I'll pray to God to let you kena lottery.
Thank you.

My Core Belief, Realism

Last few days I just understand a lesson about Pity.

"Thou shall not pity others."

Example,
I pity this person because this and that happened to him/her.
BUT,
If this and that happened to me, will he/she pity me?
Most probably not,
So why shall I pity?


The essence of my belief are mostly...
Kinda ugly to certain people.
If my belief has a category,
It should be Realism.


My belief are to protect myself from emotional attacks,
meanwhile leading a happy life.

Human,
Like any other animals,
Has the same instinct which is,
Self-preservation.

No matter how negative it sounds,
Or no matter how others try to make it look ugly,
It's just another Universal Truth.


There may be a few selflessness cases,
Sacrifice for others' good,
Unconditional love,
Blah blah blah, etc etc etc
Which I wanna be, most of the time...


I have no intention to be a complete selfish bastard,
but I will acknowledge this point that
everyone is selfish by nature.


Actually it's not that bad after I accepted this.
In fact, I started to understand more,
and get depressed less.

Others do things that make themselves feel good.
Others do things that is more important to them.
Even if sometimes, they do it without the regard of others.

No wonder I always make myself a victim for others' selfishness.
No wonder I always feel bad when others being selfish without considering how I feel.


No wonder Kazee seems to be content,
No wonder Vliam sometimes seems content,
No wonder Eric is kinda content most of the time.


Those that tried to be selfless....
I watched them failed miserably, and still failing...


After blogging this post...
I think the bulb just light up above my head...
And I just understand

"Love yourself before anyone else"
or "Learn to love yourself"
or "If you can't love yourself, you can't love others."


Thank you BLOG.
Thank you my lost friend.
I just understand how to love myself... just... today.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I Will Improve

I think I will start taking up marathon as a sport.
Inspired by Kennysia I guess?

Oh well,
Normally I don't really trust myself.
I might think or say doing something,
but end up not doing it.

After I got myself started making something,
which I thought of doing on last year's December...
I think that will be a great start.

Just remember what Nike says,

"JUST DO IT"


Jerrybann~ On its way for Improvement~!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Fuck a Job.

I wonder they are human or tree or momotang or am I speaking different language from them, god damn it?

We read the papers, we know what's happening... But we see different things...


They come and tell me, at bad economy like this, doing business won't work.
Business failure rate high, people tend to spend less, blah blah, etc etc...

I replied them...

Dell is moving out from Penang, two to three factories are shutting down next year.
Thousands of employees suddenly found they lost their jobs.
EPF, the savings for most employees for retirement declared a fall in their investment inc0me.
There will be a lot of cheapskate mother fucka company like Floor Depot who likes to drag your salary and claims.

Rather than letting someone to control your money, paying you when they are happy, drag your salary as they see fit, treat you like a cow and squeeze life out of you, retrench you when syok.

You can hear something like Floor Depot MD told his staff,

"Got you guys or not will not make a difference at all."

Drag your claims and say, "Ask not what the company can do for you, ask what you can do for the company."
A line taken from U.S President John F. Kennedy, who got assassinated (might be because of the line)



I'm fucking sick and tired. I rather be a hawker selling char koay teow at the roadside, or a pasar malam peddler selling cheap woman lingerie.

Jerry, the Pasar Malam Guy: "Leng long! leng long! (Bra! Bra!) RM2 satu!"
Auntie : "Ayoh! RM2 one, don't know wear d my nien nien can out of shape anot!"

Being an entrepreneur... failure rate is high.
But if the ratio is 1 out of 10 succeed... I guess I'm prepared to fail 9 times.

No high qualification, no hands-on skills...
I guess being an entrepreneur will give me more chances to earn RM15,000 than a job.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Porn NOT Get It In

I believed I'd seen a bigger one...

What are you talking about? Where had you seen them?

In college....


Watch this till the end.



Porn NOT Get It In - Amazing videos are here

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Self-Reminder : Accomplish or Do Not Begin.

Reading Erica.biz really tempt me to start a few businesses right away.
For example, the post about business ideas during recession time like now.
But I do know what's my mistake previously that caused me a lot of failures and heartbreaks.
Lack of focus and concentration.
For now, even worst.
Because of all those failures that caused me a lot of fortunes...
Confidence gone down almost zero.
And I need to start building it up again.
For the coming venture that I will be in with Raymond.

I write this post is to remind myself.

"Accomplish or do not begin."

Eric and Calvin had completed all the preparation works, and we're just waiting for our first general meeting.
Waiting for the sales and marketing plan to be shown by Eric.
And we can start our work... our business... my own business...

After all, I must admit that I, myself alone, have not acquired that needed experience,
to really be on my own and fly.
I still need direction and guidance from people who had gone through more than myself.



Jerry... With them, together, YOU will SUCCEED.

ACCOMPLISH OR DO NOT BEGIN!

My Goals for Now.

  1. Bring the business to a level where it needs a large of portion of my time and effort, forcing me to stop working for a job or minding other people's business, and have to mind my own business.
    Do It or Die.
  2. Forge a stronger bond with my Mastermind Alliance.
  3. Keep promises, trustworthy and credibility.
  4. Start enrolling myself in Wawasan Open U for that Bachelor of Arts (Hons) in Liberal Studies.
  5. Start My Entrepreneurship Story blog.
  6. Buy myself a Toyota Vios.
  7. Bring my family for vacation once a week somewhere, anywhere.
  8. Free myself from bad debts.
  9. Buy my first real estate property.
  10. Install floorboards in every rooms in my house.

Why I Want To Be Rich?

  1. I want to do my own business rather than working for a company and forced to follow orders like a robot, allow them to drag my salary, my claims, and my commission. Letting them to squeeze my balls, pain and pissed off but continue to let them do so and can't do a damn thing about it.
  2. I want to have the things that I want.
  3. I want my family to be in peace of mind rather than worrying about money.
  4. I want my sis, that kid to study whichever courses that they want by her own interest rather than how much money she afford, or her father afford to pay for.
  5. I want to travel the world.
  6. I want to set up a foundation funding old folks home, orphanage and animals protection organization.
  7. I want to keep my pride, and NEVER LET ANYONE TO MOCK ME!
and many more...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm Now a Part-timer in Desigual

I just downloaded Alanis Morissette's Flavors of Entanglement. Her latest album. One word to describe: "AWESOME!" I'll buy her album to show my support when things started to stable down for me.
One particular song is particularly unique and recommended listening to; Incomplete.

Alanis, you are the best!!!! =)


-------------------------------------------------------------

Today, I start working as a part-timer in one of Parkson Gurney's many departmental store, Desigual. It's a brand from Spain... graffiti and Spanish street wear concept. Kinda colourful and expensive, but value for money. Their style is kinda unique I can say.

At Parkson Gurney 1st floor, the Ladies' floor. Pay me a visit if you happened to be there after 6pm =)


Working life, unlike college life or school life... Festivals are not as special as before.
December used to be holiday season, with Christmas and New Year feeling in the air.
But I don't feel that now. Work and earning a living is more important than holiday mood.
Holiday mood can't feed your stomach.
What a regret that I never really put in my heart to enjoy Christmas and New Year while I had the chance.

I think I will take the opportunity to work during that public holiday to earn double pay at Desigual.
My goals and objectives are more important than enjoying it.
Well, don't be so hard on myself... Maybe a mug of beer for myself on the eves?

Oh, planning for the upcoming BBQ on December.
This time, Lamb's leg is a must.
Will ask Eric to come over to be the chef.
Eh, I must start trying to make an acceptable pizza d.
My previous Pizza failed miserably.
Add oil Jerry, Add oil!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sorry Seems To Be The Softest Word.

The word, "Sorry"...





It really works O.O!!!???





I just experienced first hand myself.






Really soften my heart straight away... =)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I Blog Because...

Made a few edits on my blog;

- Changed the template. I'm feeling blue, so I like blue for the moment.
- Added a Wishlists at the sidebar :P


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My main purpose of starting this blog is to crap and talk nonsense,
but as I grow up, I crap lesser and lesser.
"Sam pat" (Nonsense) as in making one whole post.

After reading through so many blogs... I found out few reasons people blog.
  1. To tell their daily stories. Some are simple... Some can be compiled and made a novel.
  2. To teach people what they know.
  3. To make money. (I have this purpose in mind, but this blog? No value to give that can make money.)

Obviously I won't be as famous as Kennysia. So, cannot make money or expect some company to ask me act in their advertisement, or FHM magazine to take my picture.
I'm more fortunate than him in some sense, at least I don't have to filter what I wanna say.
Well, I do filter a bit... Sensitive things that I don't feel like letting people know. Since I know "a few someone" is reading -.- Lost a bit of freedom.
Errr... I don't have any skills or talents to teach people stuff. All I know is about Entrepreneurship, which I found it to be boring for some people, and I could make a whole book of what I know about it. I guess I will put it somewhere.



Set! Be honest with how I feel on the particular day. Blue or no Blue. Red or no Red. Just put in everything. This supposed to be my own diary... No need to think of something unrelated to just simple me to put in here, for the sake for putting something right?

This is my story blog. My dear Diary~

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

They Won't Understand

I try to think back and question myself whether all these problems are caused by my stubbornness to others' opinions or caused by my light ears on others' opinions.

Well, I'm discriminative when it comes to advices. I'll see who's giving the advices or opinions before accepting them... even if that person is my own mother.

If a person failed in Maths, and that person tries to teach you Maths... will you accept that?

If a poor person who is broke all the time, trying to teach you how to make money... will you accept that?



Well... In sense of career path, all along I'd always wanted to be an Entrepreneur.

I gave up college campus life for that.
I gave up teenager's fun life for that.
I gave up college for that.
I gave up crazy over what most people at my age crazy for... for that.
I know too much to be at this age.
I know too much to be ignorant.

How can I leave my path of Entrepreneurship?



Entrepreneurs in my family... ZERO.
Entrepreneurs in my friends circle... ZERO.

How to take advices and opinions on career?


All I can do is... Trust God and trust myself. And keep doing until I get it. That's all...

Monday, November 10, 2008

What's Left For Us If There's No More Crab?

Unknown...
Known...
Close...
Distance...
Cool...
Close...
Good...
Distance again...
Cool...

You put barrier.
I give distance.

You keep quiet.
I change focus.

You keep changing...
I keep following...

I'm a fish............................................. What a Fish life~!

Friday, November 07, 2008

Caught In Action~ For 18 and above only.

I went to the woods in our Reserve Forest at Teluk Bahang...





While walking in the woods....






UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






I SAW TWO DAREDEVILS DOING IT IN THE WOODS!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Quickly I reach for the digicam borrowed from my sis. And take a few snap....



Ngek~~~~ Caught in Action. Enjoy~~~~~













*I'm gonna eat you~~~ Oh yeah~*


*Sixty Nine (69)*


*Oooooh~~~~ Doggy style~~~~~*


*Reverse Cowboy~ Yeeee haaaaaaaaaa~~~~~!!!!*


*Let's finish it off~!!!!*


*Omg Honey~ That feeeelsss soooooo goooood~!*



P.S: Unbelievable I posted something like that... Where's my blog content heading to?

Monday, November 03, 2008

Talk A Bit Before I Sleep

It's 5.53 in the morning and...
I just finished half of my business proposal for the Enterprise...

It's time to get some sleep,
but I feels like talk a bit before I gone to my bed.


Finally, I think I understand the philosophy that I was trying to make myself believe in.

"Who and what that is not important, won't hurt me."

In order to live by "If yes, it's good. If no, it's still okay."

Nothing and no one is important to me right now for the moment. For some certain people... well, I'll just pretend that they are not important as well. Sames applies to my "important-est"

Doing so, I won't get hurt on minor things (which they perceive as minor, I just follow) and less sensitive.


What's more important for me right now... is to start getting that Enterprise moving, and future on-going projects...

Saturday, November 01, 2008

In Love Again

After mixing around...
I found out that most of the successful person I know in sense of doing business...
Have two things in common.

1) They don't have true friends. They keep friends with mutual benefit. A loner.

2) They love their wives dearly and as their first priority. Eventhough they got the money, they remain loyal only to their wives. You won't see them womanizing.


----------------------------------------------------------------

Today I fall in love again.

By a spark.

By the way she looks at me, with that two sparkling eyes of hers...

She is attached.

But nevermind...

'cause I'm in need of a woman I have feeling on as my main source of motivation.

Nothing have to happen in between us, she don't even have to know about it.

All I need is just able to see her.
All I need is her being a friend.
And be close.

At least, she doesn't have a chance to reject me,
And,
At least, there is still hope =)

Friday, October 31, 2008

Not Important, The Beginning :D

Just now Eric came to my house for some documents. I asked him to look at my room's feng shui.
Taught me a few things... Not bad not bad. I think I'll change everything in the room this weekend.

Two bad things:
1) My room is the worst place in the house. Door directly facing straight with the main door. If not for the cabinet blocking the view, I'll not as screwed as now... I'll be over-screwed!

2) I got an extra bed in my room. No one sleep on that bed for years now. He asked me to remove the bed. Putting a bed with sheet but no one sleeping is like letting "something else" to sleep on it.


Two good things:
1) My house is facing the best direction for 2009.

2) All I need to do is just change the room with new look.


Fengshui is kinda fun :D


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today I made a few people sounds disappointed.

Yeah, just sound disappointed 'cause I just heard from their voice over the phone.

But that won't change my mood.

It's not important anyway.


Most important is how content I am,
Over what I did.

Nothing will change that.
So, as long as I'm happy,
That's enough.

How the others felt totally got nothing to do with me :D

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I am the Problem.

I rest my eyes,

Thinking...



Am I the problem...?



What are the mistakes I'd done to deserve all these?




Who is a Friend?
What is a Friend?
How a Friend should be?
Where can I find a Friend?
Why a Friend?






If I am a Friend,
I should gladly accept that there won't be any calls or messages just to say 'Hi' except those asking favors.



If I am a Friend,
I should gladly accept that A Friend In Need is a Friend Indeed means, "Will only find you when I'm in need."



If I am a Friend,
I should only know what are others need, don't be demanding on what you need. It's not about you at all, it's only about them.



If I am a Friend,
I should know what's my fault when I'm ignored.



If I am a Friend,
I should know when something went wrong, it's my fault and only mine.






If I can't be such Friend, I wasn't a good or worthy friend at all.



Family as priority is unquestionable.
Their other half as their number one is a must.


Can I be number two?



I can't...
If only I can find out what's my problem...

If I Were A Girl.

I just heard this song today in the radio,

And I fell deeply in love at first hear.


So, as I get home and able to sit down and relax in front of the monitor,


I quickly make a search of it on Youtube through Google.

Looking at the ranking when I typed the song title...
I bet it just get released very very very recent.
Like today or yesterday.


Anyway, enough of reading. Watch this music video and sing along with the lyrics~
Have fun!

PS: Actually I wanna embed the music video here but it was disabled coz tooooo new.

---------------------------------------------

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wated
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

(Chorus)

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

(Chorus)

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

---------------------------------------------

Ahem... Become more reading...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

What A Weird Dream

I had a weird dream last night o.o


I went to a girl's house,



was going to pick her up for a date or something.



Then out of nowhere, an angmoh aunty come haunt me.
And molest me some more... feels like puking really.
Just by looking at the face =.="




But it turned out to be a test or something by the girl's parents? (wtf!? with an aunty?)





Sit in front of the two parents... listening to them talking about all the rules and regulations,
to date their daughter.

Don't know what time what time must be back, don't know what cannot overnight... swt



Oh, the girl, as usual, my taste... that typical Chinese small and sharp eyes~* fair, with silky hair...

@@



Then, was about to go out with her... until I walked pass their living hall and saw...




The solid hardwood floor!!!!

Burmese Teak some more!!!!


Then, I squat down and examine the floor... and oh! found a few warped floor...




That's the end of my dream.... (WHERE IS MY DATE AND MY ROMANTIC BED DINNER?!?!?!?!)




-------------------------------------------------------
Let me interpret my dream;

  • Going to pick up a girl for a date is something I wanna do.
  • Aunty molesting me is influenced by my friend's offer for me to work as a gigolo to serve aunty (RM8000 a week... that's a temptation)
  • Wanna find a good girl, sure need to go through naggy parents...
  • Lastly, I still can't forget wood flooring... my current job's industry.


It's been such a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG
TIME since I last had a dream. How sweet~*

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Contentment

I found this in my email by Ernest. I found it very special and decided to post a forward mail here... which i rarely do... Read everything. It sure change your point of view towards life =)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Have you ever,
at any one time,
had the feeling that life is bad,
real bad, and you wish you were in another situation?

You find life make things difficult for you,
work sucks,
life
sucks,
everything seems to go wrong...

Read the following story... it may change your views about life:
After a conversation with one of my friends, he told me
despite taking 2 jobs, he brings back barely above 1K per month,
he is happy as he is.

I wonder how he can be as happy as he is considering he has to
skimp his life with the low pay to support a pair of old
parents, in-laws, a wife, 2 daughters and the many bills of a
household.

He explained that it was through one incident that he saw in
India ... that happened a few years ago when he was really
feeling low and touring India after a major setback.

He said that right in front of his very eyes he saw an Indian
mother chop off her child's right hand with a chopper. The
helplessness in the mother's eyes, the scream of pain from the
innocent 4-year-old child haunted him until today.

You may ask why did the mother do so? Had the child been naughty,
had the child's hand been infected?? No, it was done
for two simple words- - -TO BEG!

The desperate mother deliberately caused the child to be
handicapped so that the child could go out to the streets to beg.

Taken aback by the scene, he dropped a piece of bread he was
eating half-way. And almost instantly, a flock 5 or 6
children swamped towards this small piece of bread which was
covered with sand, robbing bits from one another. The
natural reaction of hunger.

Stricken by the happenings, he instructed his guide to drive him to
the nearest bakery. He arrived at two bakeries and
bought every single loaf of bread he found in the bakeries. The
owner was dumbfounded but willingly sold everything. He
spent less than $100 to obtain about 400 loaves of bread
(this is less than $0.25 per loaf) and spent another $100 to get daily
necessities.

Off he went in the truck full of bread into the streets. As he
distributed the bread and necessities to the children (mostly
handicapped) and a few adults, he received cheers and bows from
these unfortunate. For the first time in his life he
wondered how people can give up their dignity for a loaf of bread
which cost less than $0.25.

He began to tell himself how fortunate he is. How fortunate he is
to be able to have a complete body, have a job, have a family,
have the chance to complain what food is nice and what
isn't nice, have the chance to be clothed, have the many
things that these people in front of him are deprived of...

Now I begin to think and feel it, too! Was my life really that
bad? Perhaps... no, I should not feel bad at all... What about
you? Maybe the next time you think you are, think about the child
who lost one hand to beg on the streets.

'Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, it is the
realization of how much you already have.'

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times
we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the
one which has been opened for us.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but
it's also true that! ! we don 't know what we've been missing
until it arrives.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past,you
can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures
and heartaches.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I Regret Over the Outburst...

Just now...
Outburst again.
I just acted like a pussy again.

Speaking my mind and my heart out won't improve things.
It will only make things worst.
I should have ignore all these ignorance.

Let me predict what will happen.

1) They don't know what to do with you.
2) They feel uncomfortable.
3) I was such a problematic person.
4) Ignore more.


Sigh...
Just accept it as a taste of the real world,
Where you only live by yourself.

Specially by Meizhenzhu

Specially done by Meizhenzhu for me~~!!! Wheeeeeeeee~~~~

I very very like. Some more with special template around it.




I very likie~!!!




So, it's now my desktop wallpaper. Ngek~








Thank you very muchie Meizhen Zhuzhu. Ahahahaha!

Contradiction

Eric told me, "It all started from your broken family."


When I know my friends are going out for a movie or something,
without calling me...
I will be very pissed and emo.

When I feel what they said contradicts with each others' answer,
I will feel betrayed...
I will think that they just wanna shoo me off.


It happened a few times before...
Mostly, I will just ignore them.
And accept the way it is.
That's why, I don't really go out anymore.
And I don't really mix with those who I used to call my Friends.
I prefer those who are there for mutual benefits, e.g business associates.
Where both have benefits for staying together.


He ignored me for almost a week.
I'd became the last to know what happened.
I thought he was my best friend.
And I was the last to know.


She ignored me for almost a month.
For almost a month treated with ignorance.
I felt abandoned out of sudden.
I thought she was my best friend.
And I was ignored.


I was once told my another friend I treated important,
"A glass broken, even if put back together, the scar of the crack remains..."



Friends with Mutual Benefit are still much better.
At least I know they are here for something,
and I am there,
for something as well...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Thick Face Black Heart: Self-Reminder of Reality.

Keep your weakness from others,
Show them only your strength,
While working on improving your weaknesses.
And brag more on your strength.

Never make a promise,
unless you are cornered.
But once you promise,
Keep it.

Any relations are about benefits.
The more benefit you can give,
The more valuable you are.
In business relations,
In relationship,
In friendship,
Even... In Family.
No benefit = No value.



Being someone who's trying to master Thick Face Black Heart practice...
I need to remind myself of these, and learn this.

The Retard, The Steel Bench, and The Penis

Hong Kong is famous for dramas.


One night....



A "lonely and disturbed" man felt lonely in the park and try to make some drama.



So he decided to satisfy his sexual needs...



By inserting his Penis into one of the small holes of a steel bench.




When his dick negarakuku and got hardened.




HIS DICK GOT STUCK IN THE HOLE!!!!!




And he called the police to save him, together with doctors and firefighter.



The doctors tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood, but his dick was so swollen...


That they ended up having to cut the entire bench free, and take it together,



with that retard attached to the hospital.




Really... What a retard.



After 4 painful hours they finally separate the retard from the bench.
Doctors stated that if he had been stuck for even an hour longer,
they would have had to remove his dick.


Must blame their government because didn't control their prostitutes charges.

Read in one of their prostitution advertisement webpage... Cheapest also need HK$1400.
That's RM700...

If so gien gien and sien sien... he should go Thailand. RM200 per night, only HK$400.

Or no money for HK$400 for Thailand prostitutes...

I think a pie will do also? Cheap nia mah.




Or sotong also can?



Goddamnit! Someone please teach him how to masturbate!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

21-10-2008

I'm munching that irresistible all time favourite French Fries from McDonald's
while typing this gonna-be long story-telling post.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today's 21st October.

At this date back in the year 2002,
At this time back in the year 2002,
But it's Monday at that time...
A young couple was born,
Being the first for both...
It's exciting and kinda nervous.


How does it feel like to be in love?
To have someone to love?
and the best part,
To have someone love you in return?


How does it feel like to hold a girl's hand?
How does it feel like to share one same ice-cream?
How does it feel like walk together meaningless around, but with feeling that moment is so meaningful?
Most importantly, how great a Hug feels like?


It was just a call though.
Cannot see face to face,
No smiling to each other,
Like those we watched in those drama series.


But just a very... Simple conversation.
Yeah, it had BEEN JUST SIMPLE.


He: "I just realized not long ago that I'd fall for you... I don't want it to be a wish. So, can we be together...?"

She: "I feel like singing song. Hahaha...

Yes I Will,
Take your hand and walk with you...
Yes I Will,
Baby I promise you~"
(a song from Backstreet Boys)

The reply was a song from Backstreet Boys' Yes I Will.
How crazy but how happy it was,
He used to sing for her...
Trust me, he can't sing... and I think she's crazy too, to be listening to him for months,
Singing like a crow...
HAHAHAHAHA!!!



Oh well, it was just a puppy love then.
With more fantasy in our head (not "that" fantasy)
than reality.


Hmm...
I can remember... That feeling...
When a "yes" from her is like,
having the whole world with me.
Just everything... Possibilities, Hope, Excitement, Passion, Happiness...
You just name it.



That's how this thing "Love" works.
It's like an elixir.
Bringing you Life and Hope and Happiness...



But then, it's already six years back.
And we both moved on.


She's in Australia now,
and we still talk on the phone from time to time.



Me?
From that naive little kid,
becoming a Better Man.

21st October 2002.
Will always be in my heart.

Last song from me to her...

You will always gonna be my Love,
I will remember to love,
You taught me how.

Muacks~!

Monday, October 20, 2008

I Will Be Honest. I Love You!

I thought conditions won't allow me,
to be true and honest to how I feel.

I thought by fake it,
I'll make it, even if it's about how I feel.

But then, I'll arrive at one point where,
I'll wake up and found out
that I'd been lying to myself all along...
about how I feel,

And, How I feel for You.

I can keep running away,
but I can never hide,
this deep feeling, this strong feeling
I HAVE for you...


It might gives you trouble,
but I don't feel that logic sense behind your trouble...
Just ignore how I feel for you (as you always do),
You'll be fine.
And of course I'll keep that distance from you too.

But you can never stop, can never suppress
this deep feeling from the bottom of my heart.

I will not be afraid to love you anymore.
and not be afraid to tell you this...








What a Fate!

Went to PaiNball and got my nipple shot.
So now, Meizhenzhu said, "instead of Pain in the ass, it's Pain on the nips."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fate,
I just watched a drama and there's this part when they talked about Fate.


Previously, it's like so easily I'll meet her somewhere outside.
Just went to a place,
and keep thinking about her,
and the next thing I know, I'll meet her there.
Or maybe it's LoA (Law of Attraction) that is working?


But now, after so many things happened,
Heart broken and almost down syndrom-ED...
Fate seems to end.


Not only that kind of Fate,
A lot of my Fate seems to be in confusion.


Met a girl who is totally my taste last month...
But after a month...
=.= Actually, she's a girl who is interested in her.
Aih... Luckily didn't fall till deep deep.
What a Fate!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Little bit of Shout Out

What went wrong?
Why I feel defeated again?
Where is the direction?

After all, the conclusion is just about the same.
I'm not as good as I thought I was.
Things are doing just NOT fine.
Goddamn it!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Suddenly Disappear? How?

What if someday I suddenly disappear?

You called and my number is not in service.
You no longer see me online.
No more updates in blog.
No more Friendster, or Facebook...
You no more see me outside the street...
You totally, don't know where I am...
Totally M.I.A (Missing in Action)


What if that happened?
LOL

I don't think anyone will realize either,
until 2 or 3 years later...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Work, Work

After work,
Come back and sit in front of the monitor,
Online till late at night,
Sleep...
Wake up the next day and work.

Hmm...
Not really productive enough.
It should be,

After work,
Come back, work, think of how to work better,
and work on it.
Work, work, work.

I got Customers Survey Form to create...
I got Customers Filing System to design...
I got a lot of work to be done.

But kinda lazy to do it...
Hmmm....
Rather than blogging crap now.

GET BACK TO WORK!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

How Will It Goes?

If you never leave,
If we never broke up,
How will it be today?

Sigh...
I wanna take care of you.
I wanna protect you.
I wanna adore you.

I miss you.

Friday, October 10, 2008

What Woman and Man's Dream To Be?

After some surveys and interviews with those people around me... I found out that;

Most of woman's dream is to be this:

A beautiful housewife.


While most man's dream is to be this:

A Successful Man.

The same old tradition...

Success starts from home.
A happy husband with a happy wife,
Together will have a happy family,
That will lead the man forward for more success and significant.

Woman, cheat your man... Money will stop coming in to get you that new clothes, that new shoes, and that new whatever-you-feels-like-buying.

Man, cheat your woman... You are going down, going to Hell and going fast.

Every Successful Man Has A Strong Woman.

Woman, be Strong.

Man, be Successful.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I Need a Change in Environment

I'm good in making new friends, but bad in keeping one.





I need to make more new friends,
So I can replace those that I'd or I'll lost.





If there is a manual sent down by God to Earth on the topic of,
"How to keep friends"
I'm desperate to have it.

I need a change in environment.
Everything seems getting wrong somewhere.
Leave before abandoned.

Waitress! One More "Screwed Again" As Usual

I just had a conversation with an online friend of mine.

and...

We found out, Online Friends are better and less stressful compared to real life friends.

Why?

Number 1: You are not afraid to offend them. You just say what's in your mind.

Number 2: They may seem unimportant because, you don't know them in real life anyway.

Number 3: You can talk about things that you don't usually talk with real life friends.

Number 4: Best of all, both are there just to fulfill the need for a companion. No other motives or reasons around. So, Online friends are friends with no condition, and friends with no condition are True Friends, therefore Online Friends = True Friends.




Strange but true... Friends that you don't get to meet or talk that often are often better than those you're close with.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Living In My Own World...

Lay back on my chair in front of the pc...
I think back of those days when I was still young.
My original true self was vulnerable.
I'm afraid of...

being lonely,
abandoned,
betrayed,
used.

A sensitive creature,
sensitive to words others said, to actions others did...
even if (maybe) they don't mean to.

Rather than being afraid...
I prefer...

to like being in solitude,
to be independent,
to trust no one,
to look for mutual benefits.

Some said I'm realistic,
I said "Yeah, that's correct."

Blame them?
Nope. Blame myself for living in my own world...

"Life is a Fact. Not a Fiction."

Friday, October 03, 2008

The Rise of Jerry the Sales Person

I just completed a few survey forms to be used for my sales activities.
Starting from this month, October onwards,
I will be taking over the whole market of Penang island.
One sales person, one whole island...
I can see money pouring in, in form of commissions...



This opportunity will be here to stay.
After all that I'd been through...
Working from 9am until 11pm,
Everyday, on weekends, on public holidays, on off day, on leaves, on MC...
Dig out money from my own pocket to pay for losses...

New chapter is here now.
"The Rise of Jerry the Sales Person."

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I am Back.


Yeah, by popular demand...







TA DA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!



Errr... this does not look good. How about the next one?





DENG DENG DENG~~~~!!!



BE JUST SIMPLE is BACK~!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I Don't Accept What You Said, How Can I Be Angered?

Once upon a time when Buddha is still around,
there was this unhappy and angry guy walks to Buddha.
He got a lot of dissatisfaction and scold Buddha...
Pili pala pili pala~~~~
He scolds and scolds and scolds.
Buddha just watched him scolding...
until he got nothing to scold anymore... he stopped.

Buddha just replied, "Okay" with a smile.
That man was surprised that he didn't anger Buddha at all.
So he asked, "I scold you till like that, why you are not angered at all?"
"Why? I wanna know why!"

Buddha just smiled and replied,
"I don't accept what you said and complain at all, how can I be angered?"


The Wise One, Buddha just treated the man like a kid,
If we as an adult... when a kid scold us and talk kiddie,
Will we be angered by them? No right? (I think I will stuck the kid in the toilet bowl)
There's a lot of moral values to be learned from this story.

But my version, the moral that I prefer to gain from this story is...
"If I don't want to let others controlled my emotions, treat them as nothing. You will not feel anything, anymore no matter what they did to you."

Friday, September 12, 2008

Friendship is a Lie

Everyone does things for their own self-benefit.
Talking about those righteous and loyalty?
Save it.
Even guy friends nowadays aren't reliable...
Let's not talk about those selfish bitches.

This world is only about using each other,
How come I can't accept it when Kazee told me so?
How come I can still think that Friends for Keep?
Kinda bullshit to me now...

I felt betrayed... and used...
All thanks to these so-called friendship...
There must something wrong in those books talking about friendship.
Humans only care about what's their benefit in the connection...

How can I forget this?
I respect Clement because he did let me know about getting HIS benefit...
How can I forget it right now?

All conversation are air....
I only know the one that I hold dearest to me...
Had left me unknowingly...
Screw it..
Fuck it...
Our Friendship is just a LIE!

My Life is a Drama

I want to be extraordinary,
and aim for success and significant.
So funny that right now,
I want to lead a normal life...
Just like others.

I feel that I'm leading a dramatic life...
Maybe too much influence from the TV or comics, or novels...

I'm stuck.
Studies, not high enough...
Skills, near zero...
Someone like me contributes nothing to the society at all.
It will be much better if I'm dead.
Rather than competing air with others right now.

Born in a dramatic broken family,
Lead a dramatic life...
Have a dramatic work...
Gone through dramatic romantic time...
My life is a drama... Really.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Motivation To Work

Looks like I'd forgot that spirit I had when I first join the company.
That fighting spirit and that determination to work...
I'm not sure where it went wrong,
but I'm sure I'll find the reason behind...
to bring back that spirit of mine,
and to improve better.

The way to success is simple,
Just follow those who are already there...
at the place which I intend to go...
Just follow their footsteps.

This not only apply to my working condition,
but also in PG Corner, the website that I'm working on with Clement...
Seems like there's a lot of work to be done...
But most importantly, I need an aim to work...

She...
is my main motivation to strive for success and significance...
Though it got lost somewhere... when the distance was felt,
At least, I need to update my aim from time to time...
Alternative motivation to replace my lost one...

Let there be no setback for my path to success...

Monday, August 25, 2008

My Analyzing and Prediction

I used to analyze people,
and predict them.
From the way they talk,
From the words they use,
From their body language,

At my age,
Not many people able to that...
Thanks to those years in Omegatrend,
Thanks to those tons of books that i'd read,

But...
Sigh...
All is lost now.
I admit defeat to the two person i met...
One is unpredictable,
One is everchanging... fast,

Need to brush up my analyzing and alertness again...
Just give a date and i can do it :p

I Need A Date

It's either work or beer for me.
I overwork, overeat and overdrink...
I'm exhausted, and my beer belly is keep telling me "You drink too much."
Oh well,
What am I looking forward to?

I think i need a date.
Or at least someone to die for?
Nah, not that extend yet...
At least someone for me to spend on... Ngek~
Don't say so bad...
Just a companion i guess.

I knows a lot of people, but have few friends...
Well, i think i'm running out of friends to mix with.
Part of growing up process i assume.
So, i rather sit at Just Cafe alone, or Katrina Cafe, or Cosmic Cafe and drink alone...
And let the time pass away...

Reluctant :S
Time is money and i waste it away...
What else i can do?

This week got no quotations at all,
I guess i will be screwed at today's meeting...
Be prepared and hope that my boss is in good mood today...


Looking forward for this weekend,
The Hat yai trip, on Merdeka...
For the chicken~~~~~
Errr.... Siam Fried Chicken.. that one fried red red one...
Not that "chicken" you're thinking...
I'm a very decent person okay? (lie)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Similarity in God and Energy

If you ask a scientist,
"What is Energy?"
He'll tell you three things;

1) Cannot be created or be destroyed.
2) Comes in many forms.
3) Energy is everywhere around us.



If you ask a religious man,
"Who is God?"
He'll tell you three things;

1) Cannot be created or be destroyed.
2) Comes in many forms.
3) God is everywhere around us.


Energy is around us. God is around us.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Our 11 years friendship is a failure...

It's not too much for me asking Give and Take friendship.
I prefer that you sms or msn to ask me "How are you?"
Rather than just asking for transport or money.

Listen to my needs,
Rather than just stand on your stubborn ground,
Listen to my point of view.

You may be right, I may be wrong.
But I prefer my choice.
So, if you still think that you are right all the time.
You can keep it to yourself.
And let me keep mine.

Thanks to you,
I don't mind scrapping off my friends.
When the "best" friend I treasured the most
could treat me so unimportant.
Let's not talk about the rest.

Our 11 years of friendship is a failure...

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Friends?

Maybe because I lack of a complete family,
and that makes me lack of confidence.
Lack of confidence caused me to be sensitive,
on how others treat me or think of me.

I guess I'm just looking for the sense of being important,
so, I continue to give, and to provide...
Just to be important.

But oh well, giving too much,
and receiving nothing in return...
makes me feel used on the other hand...

I guess that makes myself confused.
Want to be important,
Don't want to be used,
How can I get both?
Hmmm... Interesting question...


I, somehow feel I'm abandoned...
Once in awhile, my friends do call me.
I do have friends that invite me for a movie at the cinema...
But sometimes, a thought cross my mind.
They don't have a car.
That's why I'm invited?
Hehehe... Used?


Try to read other people's point of view,
Understand them,
Rather than tell them how they should think.
That, definitely will not work on me.
Just by mere telling me =)

Monday, July 14, 2008

No Rooms For Quitting.

I did a careless mistake during a site measurement.
It was more than hundred over square feet...
The loss is about RM500...
Heh... what a fucking stupid and careless mistake.

Luckily my boss K.C, helped me explain and talk to the customer,
So they are willing to pay...
I really thank my boss a lot.

When I was first threw with this kind of problems...
I was really chicken out...
I was even thinking of quitting...
Sales line does give me a lot of stress and pressure.

But I chose to remain...
Because this is the only way where I can excel...
I believe that snake faced a lot of stress and hard situation like this,
Before that snake reach that level she is today.

I will not back off,
In order to compete and to be equal...
The chance to be with the Extraordinary one...
Is far more important than these little difficulties...

For HER!

You will always be the Reason

Fate placed us together.
I believe Destiny won't be that cruel,
I believe God won't play a game on both of us.
I believe that the Divine Power will want to give me the very best,
And the very best that this world could offer me, is you, the Extraordinary one.

That snake will not be able to pull me down,
The opinions and facts that she placed on me,
Will not influence my passion and my desire that I had for you.

Right now you are attached to that snake.
But in future, you will be my wife.
With Grace from God, you will be.
You will always be the reason for my existence in this world,
And I will always love you.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Maybe I'm In Denial

I want to deny that I'm lost...
without her.
I don't feel anything emotional,
But sadly, and truly...
I no longer as high spirit as before.
I can't find the reason why,
other than this.

No one to share my happiness,
no one to listen to my worries and sadness...
It's no longer the same.

Maybe because I am being in denial...
That's the root for my down moment, I guess...

Truly...
I miss her very much...

Monday, July 07, 2008

Loneliness Without Her Noise

She is my best friend.
She is my dream girl.
She is my angel.
She is my goddess.

I'm quite stuck right now...
It's been almost a month since we last chatted.
I don't understand, or maybe it's just me being sensitive...
But I feel she's giving me cold winter treatment.

No warning,
No weather telecast from the news,
No alarm...
It just happened.

So, here I am trying to get used to it...
Loneliness without her noise.


Every day, all I am able to do,
Is drunk myself either with lot of works,
or lots of beers.
Being too free like now is not fun at all...
It'll only make me start missing her again...

Anyway,
Keep it, swallow that loneliness feeling...
and move on.
Tomorrow is another busy day,
Another day of battle.

Corona Ads from Japan


Corona, a brand of alcoholic drinks...

This is the ads from Japan,
I guess with this kind of pictures
they are sure to hook up a lot of man to drink their brand.
The ads is kinda trying to send out the message...

You drink Corona, you can get this.








Hm... This does make me feels like drinking Corona...

Searching For Mastermind Alliance

No one can do things alone.
In this battle for success and significant,
for that ultimate goal of mine...
I will need a team,
a Mastermind Alliance...
of a group of people who share the same goal like mine.

It's not easy to find suitable candidates,
Let alone anyone to ally with.

Now I got two candidates,
One, a friend of mine who started picking stocks since last few years,
Look at him, he's doing quite good...
Not a real risk-taker in stock-picking,
but someone who does his homework before any actions.

Second, a friend who able to practice Thick Face Black Heart.
Just that currently he lost his drive,
Trying to find back that old passion of his.

The rest...
Actions speak louder than words.
Most of them,
All they did are talk, talk and talk...
But no actions taken...
Feel quite disappointed with them sometimes...

Anyway, ignorance is bliss.
Most important is, I do my part for myself.
That'll be enough... really.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

The Company That You're Working For, Pays You.

If you choose to work for a company,
Remember that the company pays you.
Your car, your house...
Your girlfriend, your family...
The company that you're working for,
pays for them as well.

I feel it's funny,
when an employee screwing the company they worked for,
It's like destroying the farm that produces food to feed you and your family,
with your own hands.

If you don't like your company,
Stop complaining and whining,
or something stupid like sabotaging the company.
If you don't like it,
Fire your boss. Tender your resignation letter.

Make finding a new job your full-time job.
If you can't afford to do so...
Make finding a new job your part-time job.

Though,
I don't believe in working for someone,
in order to achieve success and significant,
But I believe in being faithful to your dharma,
or your area of responsibility.

Your work review your true self.
Your work review your true identity.
and your true attitude.

Be faithful. Work diligently.
Until you found the opportunity,
to find your True Destiny.

Forever Just Simple: My Battle Against Life


I wonder how many times I had stopped blogging,
and how many times I had made new blogs.
I guess this is the third time...

Many things happened in a very short time,
Changes came, and swept everything away...
Sometimes, when I look back,
Everything is just a dream.

I'm awake,
and found myself in this middle of war,
That I never realized was waged,
since I was born to this world.

Like it or not...
Life... is a War.
Everyday... is a Battle.

But I will be forever Just Simple =)

Thursday, July 03, 2008

27 Days of Bitterness

Today is the 27th days we no longer talk to each other. How does that feels like?
The feeling is like... betrayal.
Though I understand it's out of necessity,
Just because her boyfriend is jealous.
I lost a friend... A very good friend of mine.

Strangely... I was able to overcome it,
so fast...
Maybe I already expect that someday like this would happen?
I already accept the fact that,
Living in reality, is to live by yourself?
Oh well...
I just have to live with it.

Maybe it is time to end everything...
Everything that happened,
Happened like a dream,
From the day I know her,
The day we started going out together...
From the day she rejected me,
The day I know that she's attached...
From the day we became real good friends,
The day when she become my one and only one...
It will all ends like a Dream.
Because I'm awake right now...

Monday, June 23, 2008

My Last Post

My work is getting more demanding of my time.
The momentum has start moving faster and faster.
I'm quite amazed how incapable I am actually when...
my work gets overload.
So, well, I need to cope with it.
I need time to focus more on building my background and foundation.

I did changed a lot after I realized of God's guidance on me,
and after that dream of Death.
Also, a little influence from Thick Face Black Heart book,
on the topic Dharma (area of responsibility) and Destiny.


I had been considering whether to stop blogging or online meaninglessly
for quite sometime.
I'd been away from online for three days...
I guess I can start forgetting about it for quite sometime.
Online... used to be a place for me to getaway (a bad idea).
Whenever I'm stressed or depressed,
all I need is just a friend talk.
Oh well, I can have that during tea session once in awhile in Farlim,
or maybe spend a little bit money on a call to Australia for few minutes.
At least, that won't caused me to get stuck... like MSN.


I was addicted and used to it.
I depend on it and rely on it.
A very bad idea...
Sometimes it does annoy other people.
When I thought it will be fine.
I gotta stop this dependence,
well, it had been stopped anyway since 17 days ago.
Anything good if too much, is equals to bad.


I got a few pictures that I wanted to post,
but never had a chance,
Well, sometimes too lazy to think of a related topic,
So, I'll post it now.

Do I looks like the mimic? Ahahaha!!! Look what are the two at the back laughing about?


Oh yea, I M HANDSOME!!! With the "banana" tie. Muahahahaha!!! Oh, these pictures are taken during previous exhibition in KL.


Thanks for your continuous support all this time. Love you guys and also girls. Maybe someday you can still find me in Google search engine somewhere. Ngek~ I said "Maybe"



The Sunset taken by ME, MYSELF and JUST SIMPLE in Pulau Jerjak in my previous company trip.



Sun rises, and Sun sets... just for another Sunrise.

All meetings have separation,
but separation is not the end.
But a new beginning of another meeting.


All the best. Bye~

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Why Did You Change

Why did you change? What did I do?
We were like brothers, and now
Your face is a wall without windows, while you
Abrogate what small claims you allow.

I don't understand what undid the sweet bond
That for years yielded nothing but joy.
I am who I was, and yet you respond
As though it were my aim to annoy.

Perhaps there's no why when some untoward wind
Whips away what we hold to our hearts.
Though bitter it be to leave loved ones behind,
It remains the most precious of arts.

-Nicholas Gordon


Let's call it a night. Goodnight~

Online cho mi? (Online do what?)

Online...
Stare at the browser...
Stare at the contacts in MSN...

Check my bookmark toolbar for any new updates on my favourite blogs...
Hmm... No updates.

Check Friendster... (I'm confused with Facebook and I refuse change.)
Hmm... No messages or friends requests.

Check my MSN contacts list...
Hmm... Don't feel like talking.

So, I no longer an Online addict? I prefer to grab my car keys and go drive around, or find someone to have a tea session with me, than stay at home stare at my monitor screen.

Something is missing...
Something is not right...
I'll need to find something to do to occupy my night,
without getting out from my house and spend money.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Fate Does Not End Now

I need to learn to be more independent in emotion.
I need to learn how to feed my own emotion needs.
Everything does end,
and most of the time... it ends when you least expect it.
It does caught you by sudden surprise.
So, when you are too cling to something,
The sudden lost will destroy you, emotionally.




Sitting next to the roadside at night,
Watching the empty streets,
The yellow lights came from the lamp-post...
Though that lonely feeling will strikes...
But I will learn,
How to live and stand by myself.
And to say to myself... "Fate Does Not End Now."

Solve my Stress and Pressure

I just finished my proposal. Hmm... nothing much of a proposal.
All I did was drawing out the profit for my prospects, and some facts on why we are better than our competitors, and how our services are better compared to our competitors.

Last two weeks, I feel quite stress and pressure because of one simple thing.

"I Act Before I Think."

means, I didn't do my homework and research. That's the cause of my stress and pressure. I thought I did think, but well, by right I didn't. So the solution to solve my stress and pressure?

"I Think Before I Act."

For some prospects which I can find their information on the internet... I studied them so I can talked about them with them when I meet them. This little and simple effort will make them to be more acceptive to what I say because I impressed them. Hahahahaha.

The prime reason why I work as a sales staff is only, Learning the Art of Selling for my Future Entrepreneur Journey. So, not only I will need to learn how to sell, but also to learn how to find solutions for problems and foresee future problems that may arise.

Friday, June 13, 2008

I Guess...

my instinct is telling me the truth,
but I am just being in denial?
Most probably...
I like to lie to myself~

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Pressure and Stress


I started to learn what is pressure and stress.
And what is the use of 'pressure'
And the use of 'stress'.
I even dreamed of 'pressure' and 'stress'.
So I continue to feel the tension day and night...

What's the effect?
I started to work more efficient, more productive and more persistent.
But in the meantime,
I have sleepless nights, I lose my appetites, I double my worries.

The question now is, How to handle pressure and stress?
This... I need careful thinking.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Wisdom of the Day

Never be too selfless,
Be selfish just a little bit.

Human, not taking care of self,
Will be perished by Heaven.

Happiness need efforts,
Not by luck.

Be thankful.
Don't be satisfied.
Always ask for more.

I Simple Live One Day At A Time *Warning: Content might be Boring*

I just passed my Insurance examination.
Two papers; Life Insurance Pre-Contract Examination, and Investment-linked Examination.
I got C for both papers.
Anyway, the most important point is either pass or fail.
C is pass, so it doesn't really matter.
I already got Unit Trust license, so now I got Life Insurance license too.
I nearly got licenses for all sort of financial products...
Hmm... Is there such thing as Loan License?
I don't think need to take examination.
Just need capital, then can open a business "Peminjam Wang Berlesen"
Ngek~


A customer of mine in my job,
Gave me a small gift as token of appreciation.
A Louis XVII t-shirt!!!
Though he's not really satisfied with the company's service...
But he's happy with my devoted before-sales and after-sales service.
Muahahahahahaha!!!
But truly... Not easy to satisfied everyone :S
When it comes to making your customer and your boss to compromise.
Sometimes, I really need to...
You know, do the right thing i.e Fuck the customer.
My boss pay me salary... What to do... Aih~
But after really observe and understand...
I understand why my boss do the things he did...
We can't really satisfy everyone.


Suddenly my lenders ask me to pay them back their money...
Money fly again~
My dinner? Luckily I have KFC RM10 cash voucher.
Bring Dino along... two persons share a dinner plate.
Romantic nia~~~~
ROFL LMAO!


I read in a book,
The author was asked how he lives through the days when he got no money?
His answer is so simple yet so... deep.
"I simply live one day at a time."

Live one day at a time... That's how I will have to gone through for the moment...
The hardship... the bitterness before the sweetness and victories.

Chill~Chill~Chill~!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Fly~Rocketeer~Fly~

Will i dream just like what i dream last week?
Wearing a rocket costume and fly~~~
Trying to fly to US but scare the rocket not enough fuel...
End up fly, don't know how to land and fall down at someone's house compound.
Muahahahahaha~

This time must reach US...
Sweet dreams and Goodnight~!

Answer to a Question, May Cause Another Question to Another Problem

Don't think so much,
Don't think so deep.
Be simple, think simple.
Be ignorance, knows nothing.
What you don't know,
won't hurt you.

Is this lying to yourself?
Perhaps, but the answer to the question,
Is just another cause of another problem.
Why do we have to think so much?

Sometimes,
I do wish I'm just smart,
and not too smart to think any deeper into matters.

"The sky is falling~ The sky is falling~"
and so said by Chicken Little...
If the sky falls, take it as a blanket and sleep with it.

If I pretend as if nothing happened,
Will it remains not happened?
If I pretend to know nothing,
Will everything remain just the same?

The best is not growing up,
and understand things we aren't supposed to understand.
Let us grow up just enough,
but not too much to know too much.

Monday, June 09, 2008

White Flag - Dido

White Flag - Dido

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be