Down Day

The most important thing in life, is living.
Troubles come, troubles go...
I believe tomorrow will be better day,
and less bad luck for me.

It had been kinda pressuring right now in SCB, because i got no submissions at all. Hmm... Kazee told me that before... It'll be Hell for first three months. Am i devastated? Nah, it's still a small problem for me. Just that, feel a bit down about it?

Clement got a submission, but he told me, "I am sure that submission will be declined. And my first few submissions will be declined as well." The reason behind of this negativity? This is what he called 'calculated risks'. Expect the worst out of the beginning, good outcome will be an extra. "That's the foundation of my confidence," he said.

Looking at him... There's a lot of things which i feel... Just like the once old me. Full of confidence, positive, and the way he handled his relationship... the philosophy that he practiced... Where's mine? Lost in space... Sucked by the black hole i think.

Growing mature? Becoming wiser? Or changing my mind? As i reached 20, a lot seems different... I am more aware that after all, i am not god. And i don't have that kind of strength to be an unreasonable man that i had always want to be. That kind of person to change the world around me.

Last time, i did met some negative passive fellows, telling me... My confidence and my philosophies... will only last for sometime. Just wait until i really feel the reality. I... just told them what Clement had been telling me for sometime... And, i'm that negative passive fellow... So funny isn't it?

Wait... am i feeling self-pity right now? I bet i am... If not, i won't think of things that i am thinking right now, isn't it? What can i happy about now? Bird, when i answer yours... i really answer yours... And i guess i am answering the same answer to myself right now...

I'm happy, because i get to breathe the first air this morning when i woke up... And i am so happy, that i am still alive until now.

I will be happy again tomorrow when i wake up again :)