I wandered to other environment for two months and when i get home, i found i have no home to return to. I'm referring to my buddies, that you used to find us chatting together at Pelita till morning 4 a.m.
They forsake me? Or it's me who forsaked them first? No one tell me anything, but i found out, there's a lot of rumours flying behind my back, my back is bleeding, friends lied to me, friends avoiding me... Feeling betrayed.
Heh... I thought we guys will never be like that, dramatic...
I'd been told that i use friends for benefit and i took friends for granted. Is this statement true? No comments?
I do feel that i appreciate my friends and they are one of my dearest. Maybe wrong?
I do believe that using friends is mutually. Means, they use you and you use them. Example, when someone wants to go shopping, he/she asks his/her friends out... That's "Using". But i'd been told i receive more than giving... How to give? What can i give? Heh... To think of that, low self-esteem again... Feeling useless again...
I got a few good friends, though we rarely meet each other, and i feel our friendship is much better than our buddies that we mix together...
I guess, it's okay for me. Just move on. Work on daytime, study on nighttime, i will have no time to think things like this anymore. Just move on.
Sigh... That's why i hate emotionally attached to people... Sadness always more than happiness...
All i can keep repeating in my mind is... "I have no home to return to..."
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