What is Love?

Previously, i kept on saying, "Love is Sacrifice" and i live with it. Now i found out, it's something more complicated than that. It's so abstract... I just sent Dino home, and before he went home, we had a few discussion inside the car on psychology and love subject.

Dino told me : "Love doesn't mean you have to be with that person, and you just give with wholeheartedly without expectation."

He also said, "We can feel happy or sad (or most emotions like anger, jealousy, etc) because of our expectation. We feel happy when our expectation is met, and we feel sad when it doesn't. Just YES or NO separate only by a line with anything in between, just like Black and White, Love and Hate."

I always thought and hold on to "Love is Sacrifice". It doesn't have to be in this way. Sacrifice means you make yourself suffer for the sake of others. Love don't have to make yourself suffer. You can still feel good when you do something for the sake of others.

Our words and belief really play a big role in our life. Just by changing Love is Sacrifice into Love is Giving (giving in the sense of sincerely and asking nothing for return and feel good about it) can change everything you feel when you do something for the person you love.

Love don't have expectation in return, but can a Love survive without Love in return? I found out, for a relationship to work, both partners have to give and expecting nothing in return. There's some contradiction in this... It may sounds complicated but try to understand what i'm trying to say.


While i was driving home just now, i come up with a grading.

(i) Like >> (ii) Affection >> (iii) Love

(i) It's very easy to like a person. Well, i can't even remember some name of the girls that i liked before. It comes and go. I like my ex-housemate, i like Vincent's ex-girlfriend (before i get into my first relationship), Dino's girlfriend (before became her girlfriend and that was 5 years ago), one of my classmate... That's all i can remember. You may like a person just because of how she/he looks like. That's so simple. Many mistaken it as love. I'd heard something like "I fall in love with her at first sight" or "I knew her yesterday and i love her". It's kinda bullshit to me. How can you love a person without knowing her/him? So, there are reasons for a Like to happen that is (of what i can think of) ; the way she/he looks like or a few gentleman act or ladylike act that captured your attention.

(ii) After you like a person and you started to know that person more... there may be some attitude or behaviour that you like about that person. That means, there are also... reasons for an affection to happen. Affection is in the middle between Like and Love. You can have an affection for a person before and after you get into relationship with that person. For a person to say, after getting into relationship with that person for three months... "I love you without a reason" is totally... BULLLLSHIIIIT~~!!! An affection grow when you found out more about that person and that person got many things in common with you or attitudes and behaviours that you like.

(iii) Lastly, the most simple... When affection became Love... there goes all your reasons to be in relationship with that person. You accept her/him good and bad altogether. You are happy with the way she/he was no matter it's good or bad. You just don't care anymore. Here is when you know, There is no reason for you to love a person and this is when the sentence, "I love you without a reason" become real. I never say Love will never die nor will i say it will die. It depends and it's still abstract to me =) You can only love a person after you get into relationship with her? I forgot alot of things while trying to type this post... Let me rethink and tell you when i remember :p

(So many scholars, philosophers and psychologists since the beginning of time, never be able to understand it =.= What makes you think we can understand it? And it's better that human can never understand it or else they can program it with computer. Ask scientists who only believe in facts go fly kite when they wanna interfere in the Mystery of Love.)

Give me comment about this :)