If you don't get what i mean in my previous post about Like >> Affection >> Love... Let me share with you my real life story (with only those i can remember)
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I was 13 (very young =.=), i like a girl in the same schoolbus, who eventually become my best friend, Dino's girlfriend now. I was too young and i barely remember so clearly. Now, i am sure it's just a like coz i never really talk to her or get to know her better. By the way, this girl was TOO quiet and hardly i can hear her voice in that 3 years like. Yes, it's only a Like and it lasted for roughly 3 years.
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The 3 years of like ended miserably, then, i like another girl, who surprised me that she's my friend, Vincent's girlfriend =.= I don't know because he's such an jackass and don't care at all. After i knew about their relationship, i just wait for them to break up (i expect that =.=). I even accidentally let Vincent knew i kept his girlfriend's photo in my wallet and he didn't care =.=* Well, at that time, i was still having attitude problem and my friendship is still fragile, i did everything i can to try to steal his girlfriend ( i WAS such an jackass before too :D) I called her day and night, went out with her, do this do that... But she still stick to him... (sobz... so faithful...)
After three months in meaningless relationship, Vincent called for a break up. Frankly and honestly speaking, it really got nothing to do with what i did. It's their own relationship problem and that means i didn't do anything bad. (I swear and if i lie, let me be a virgin until i'm 40)
She called me and cried about it. I was angry of what my friend did... Err... i also felt glad about it. Err... mixed feeling. I was angry because she was so faithful and such a good girlfriend and he broke her heart just like that~ and i was glad because here's my chance!!!
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Well, the courtship didn't last for so long. My feeling for her is still like, on the way crossing to affection... There was still something i felt missing. I don't wanna talk about what's missing. It's not her problem too. It's my problem. I chose my close ICQ friend over her... A kinda close friend... knew her since i was 14 (going 15 in 6 more months)...
Half a year to know her real name and another half a year to get her telephone number, and few more months later to meet her in person... From just a like (not that kind of like till i wanna go after her) .... a like as a friend, it became a strong affection just by a few MONTHS OF phone calls (each call lasted about 5 hours =.=) and the affection is not clapped on its own. Both of us, had affection for each other... Eventually, YES you are RIGHT! she's my first love (WaHHH~~~)... The one i always blaming, scolding, cursing in my blog. The one i called Bitch, disloyal person, this and that... Scolding and blaming her just to make myself feel good but actually i'm hiding my guilt perhaps? Guilt of not being a good boyfriend (i always think that way after i lost her) Maybe that explained why i ran away after i saw her in the airport =.= Guilt? I'll talked about it when i feel i want to. Too long for a post like this >.< style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I LOVE HER! with little mixed feeling of HATE coz "HATE is LOVE that lost its way" BUT just let me keep that sweet memory in my closet and tell myself that i HATE her AND whether she will come back to me or not, SORRY!!! I don't want her back COZ it already ended when she chose a bastard over me 0.oV
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Errr... After my ex... Another girl came in... (i have to keep this simple or she will put a bullet through my head if i say too much =.=" Btw, i can't remember what she told me, don't talk about her or don't blame her... ... ... whatever).... I liked her, and it became an affection, and became stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger as i know her more and more and more and more...
It just ended and it remained as a Like for having a friend like her.
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After a few rejections from that girl, i'd gone for some searching about Love. Vliamz told me, Quality Time will help. So, i tested with my ex-housemate, my classmate, and few more girls which i only like, normally and commonly =.= I let go all, coz we're unable to click. No sparks. No stronger feeling than 'hey, i kinda like you' feeling. Can't even feel the feeling of kissing them or having a relationship with them. Why? Coz they got a few attitudes and behaviours that i can never accept.
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Then... Then... Now... Errmmm... My post became too long, and it's time to say Goodbye~~~ :D
=.="
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